Smart Questions to Ask Potential Roommates

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Finding the perfect roommate can be the difference between a peaceful, fun living situation and a total nightmare. Choosing a compatible roommate is not an easy task, and you need to do your due diligence.

Knowing the right questions to ask potential roommates is a great start. It'll give you an idea of the type of person you could be living with. It also gives the other person a good indication of your expectations and what living with you could be like.

Here are some thoughtful questions you can ask during your first chat or roommate interview.

Before You Begin: Know Yourself First

Knowing what your potential roommate wants is only half of the problem. You also need to know your own expectations before you can hope to find someone you're compatible with. So you need to be clear on your own boundaries, habits, and what you want in a roommate.

Before starting the roommate search, sit down and make a note of your own answers to the questions in this guide, as honestly as you can.

Once you're done, ask yourself:

Which questions are most important to me?
Which answers would be absolute deal breakers?
Which questions are good to know, but things I could work around?

You need to be clear about your own needs to find someone compatible, so you're not compromising on the things that really matter. You'll also be able to set boundaries early in your relationship with your new roommate, which sets the tone for a happy and respectful living arrangement.

Disclosure: This is a long list! We highly recommend that you decide which questions are most important to you (see point one above) and stick with them. Decide what's a deal breaker before you start interviewing people.

At SpareRoom, we believe life's better when you share it with the right person. Whether you're searching in San Francisco, Miami, or Las Vegas, we're here to help you find your people - and ask the right questions, too!

Questions to Ask Potential Roommates

Expectations and Lifestyle

Everyone has a different idea of what “home” should feel like. You need to know what your potential roommate expects day to day, including their typical routine, social life, and how they spend their free time.

Questions to Ask:

Are you more of a morning person or a night owl?
What's your routine during the week?
What do you do in the evenings and on weekends?
What do you do in your free time?
How social are you? Do you prefer quiet nights in or going out with friends?
What are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to living with someone?
What are your opinions on shared food and household supplies?
Do you smoke or vape?
What is your worst habit as a roommate?

Cleaning and Chores

Cleaning is one of the biggest sources of roommate conflict. A lot of this is down to the fact that everyone's idea of what's “clean” is different. Understanding habits and expectations early on can help reduce tension between you and your roommate.

Questions to Ask:

How clean do you usually keep your home?
What are your cleaning habits, and how often do you clean shared spaces?
Are you comfortable following a cleaning schedule?
How do you feel about dividing cleaning chores?
Do you have any cleaning deal-breakers? (e.g., dishes left overnight, clutter in common areas)
How do you handle dirty dishes in shared areas?

Past Experiences

A person's past roommate experience can tell you a lot about how they handle conflict, compromise, and living with others.

Questions to Ask:

Have you lived with roommates before?
Have you ever disagreed with a roommate? How did you handle it?
Can you tell me about your relationship with a former roommate and any challenges you faced?
Are you still in touch with any old roommates? What was your experience like with them?
Would your former roommates be willing to provide a reference?
How would you describe your experience with ex-roommates?
Have you ever had to deal with noisy neighbors, and how did you handle it?

Finances

Money can be a major point of tension. Be completely honest and make sure you know who pays what and when. Living with someone else means many shared expenses, and that can also put strain on your relationship.

Questions to Ask:

How much do you budget for rent and utilities every month?
Can you pay the security deposit upfront?
Are you prepared to pay the first and last month's rent if need be?
How do you prefer to handle shared expenses (e.g. apps like Splitwise, Venmo)?
Are you happy with all the financial obligations involved, such as utilities, deposits, and shared expenses?
Have you ever struggled to pay rent on time?
Do you have a stable income source?
How do you want to split bills and rent with your future roommate?

Four roommates sitting around a table for drinks

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Social Life and Guests

You don't want to be surprised by constant parties, unexpected overnight guests, or situations where a significant other effectively becomes a third roommate. These questions are probably best for college roommates, but even if you're not living that college life, it's a good idea to make sure you're both on the same page.

Questions to Ask:

Do you enjoy hosting guests or prefer a quieter home?
How many people would you have over at a time?
How often do you have friends or a partner stay over?
Later on, how would you feel about a partner staying over frequently, potentially becoming a roommate?
Do you hope your roommate will become a best friend, or do you prefer to keep things more separate?
What level of interaction would you like from your roommate on a day-to-day basis?

Four roommates sitting around a table for work

[Photo by RDNE Stock project from Pexels on Canva.]

Work and Study Schedules

Clashing schedules can cause frustration if one person needs to go to bed early while the other is hosting friends. If you want to avoid conflicts, you need to understand each other's work hours and whether you share the same classes.

Questions to Ask:

What does a typical weekday look like for you?
Do you work from home or go into an office?
What are your work hours?
Are there certain hours you need to have quiet?

Personal Boundaries

Respecting space and privacy stops resentment from building up.

Questions to Ask:

Do you need alone time, or are you more social at home?
Would you like to keep any areas of the apartment private?
How important is personal space to you? How do you define it?
What rules do you have about borrowing things like dishes, toiletries, and clothes?

[Photo by Liza Summer from Pexels on Canva.]

Resolving Conflicts

When you're living with someone else, disagreements are bound to happen. That's just a fact. Talk about how you will handle any disputes that come up.

Questions to Ask:

What's your approach when you're upset or frustrated with someone?
How do you prefer to bring up concerns?
Are you open to regular roommate check-ins to talk about how things are going?
Would you prefer to talk things out immediately when the issues come up, or take some time out first?
How do you handle potential conflicts with roommates?

Household Chores

Living with others means sharing the household chores and general upkeep. That's actually one of the biggest benefits of having a roommate. It also really helps if the other person's skills or interests can complement yours.

Questions to Ask:

Are you handy with household maintenance?
Have you ever used a document or app to track bills and chores?
Are you ever home to accept deliveries or manage home repairs if needed?
What at-home activities do you enjoy, and how might they affect our shared space?

Communication

Good communication will stop misunderstandings in their tracks. Finding a potential roommate you can communicate with easily is a good sign. Even so, make sure you're both clear on how to communicate with each other.

Questions to Ask:

Do you prefer texting, calling, or face-to-face conversations?
Are you more direct or subtle when addressing problems?
Are there topics you feel uncomfortable discussing?

Living Arrangement Preferences

Everyone has different expectations for how shared and private spaces are used. It's not only a potential college roommate who needs to have the conversation, either - professionals also feel strongly about their personal space.

Questions to Ask:

How do you feel about decorating shared space?
Have you ever lived in a small space with others? How did you manage privacy and shared responsibilities?
Do you have furniture or household items you'd want to bring?
Do you want to keep bedrooms completely private?
Are there any in-home activities you do that need extra space or more storage? Some examples are indoor gardening or art.

Moving boxes waiting to be unpacked with a cactus, skateboard and teddy bear

[Photo by goir from Getty Images on Canva.]

Moving and Logistics

A smooth move-in process will set the tone for your roommate relationship.

Questions to Ask:

When would you like to move in?
Are you looking for a place to stay for an extended period, or is this a short-term arrangement for you?

Future Plans

Your roommate's future plans affect your own stability. Your roommate situation has a direct bearing on your day-to-day life.

Questions to Ask:

How long are you planning to stay?
Do you plan to live in this city long-term?
Are there any upcoming life events that might change your plans?
Can you provide references from someone who has known you for at least a year?
Have you ever had to move because you and your roommate turned out to be very different people?

Neighborhood and Community

The right roommate will also fit in with the surrounding community. If you talk about this upfront, you can stop future misunderstandings about lifestyle and expectations.

Questions to Ask:

Do you prefer a quiet neighborhood or a livelier one?
Is proximity to public transit, nightlife, or grocery stores important to you?
Do you enjoy socializing with neighbors, or do you like more privacy?
Are there any family friends who could serve as references for you as a roommate or tenant?

Safety and Security

You can't compromise on feeling safe at home! Someone who puts their roommate's safety and security first makes a good housemate.

Questions to Ask:

What do you need to feel safe in the apartment?
Have you ever experienced any safety-related concerns in past living situations?
Have you ever dealt with negligent landlords, and how did you handle those situations?

Emergency Preparation

You probably don't want to think about it, but you need to know how to handle emergencies together. Discussing it up front shows you care about the other person.

Questions to Ask:

Do you have any medical conditions or allergies I should be aware of?
Do you have any pet allergies I need to know about in case of emergency?
Who should I contact in case of an emergency?
Do you have any first aid skills?

Furniture and Decor

Shared spaces feel more comfortable when everyone can make them feel more like home.

Questions to Ask:

What kind of style or decor do you like?
Do you already own large furniture we'll need to fit in?
How do you feel about buying new furniture together?
Are you comfortable with pets on all the furniture?
Have you ever shared a dorm room, and how did you handle decorating and sharing space?

Guests

This is your place too, and you need to feel comfortable with the visitors a roommate may bring home. Your home space is deeply personal, and sharing it with people you don't get on with can make you feel frustrated or even unsafe.

Questions to Ask:

What's your policy on overnight guests?
How much notice do you need before someone brings a guest over?
Are there any limits you think we should set for visitors?

Noise and Disruptions

Noise levels can have a big impact on sleep quality and your stress levels, which is why it's important to talk about it.

Questions to Ask:

Are you a noise-sensitive person?
What volume level is acceptable for music, TV, or phone calls?
How do you feel about loud music or noise during the day or night? Do you have a preferred quiet time during the day or night?

[Photo by Raphael Angeli from Getty Images on Canva.]

Pet Policy

Pets can be a great addition - or a big problem if the ground rules aren't clear.

Questions to Ask:

Do you have any pets or plans to get one?
Do you have any pet allergies?
How do you feel about pets in common areas or on furniture?
If you have a cat, how often do you clean the litter box?
Does your cat/dog get on well with other animals?

Conclusion

When you're looking for the right roommate, you've got to go beyond liking the same TV shows or splitting the rent. When you're interviewing people, shared values, trust, and respect are qualities you'll want to screen for. Answer these questions yourself and then use them to ask potential roommates. They'll soon help you find someone whose living style matches yours. They don't have to be a new friend to have a harmonious relationship. Setting boundaries builds mutual respect and stability, whether you're living with college roommates or professional people.

Disclaimer - This information is for general informational purposes only and should not be treated as legal advice. We recommend you consult an experienced Landlord Tenant attorney if you require legal advice.