Furnished suite: priv. entrance, bathroom, & kitch

Hello on offer is a suite of 550 sq ft of luxurious living area. Includes: private bathroom, entrance, and kitchenette. It's furnished as shown in the photos (updated in April 2025). It's similar to a basement apartment except it's not underground and actually has a nice elevated view with a balcony. There's even plush, newish carpeting not found at most rentals (yep, no surprise, security deposit required) and killer climate control. (Polar bear vibes? No sweat. Won't cost more than the $50 to live at 60F when it's 100F outside.) I'm not saying there's any global warming, but ... ummm ... there's global warming ... at least at the equator during the summer?

Lease:

Is your desired stay going to be a summer internship? A year? Longer? No clue? All good---just be sure to give us at least 2 weeks' worth of notice. (But, hey, if you've got a crystal ball that predicts your exact future, or for that matter, any part of the future, please call us collect ASAP, and we'll happily explain how we can all get filthy rich.)

Location:

It's rated A+ according to crimegradedotorg (TLDR: 1/7th the violent crime rate of DC) and a 12-minute walk from the Wheaton stop on the DC Metro's Red Line[1] (ask if you’d like the version of this ad with functional footnotes/links/URLs) so long as you use the top-secret shortcut, that is, just north of the DC Beltway (I-495). Union Station in downtown DC is a 22-minute Metro ride from Wheaton.[2] NIH is accessible in 13 minutes via the RideOn 34 bus.[3] Metro buses Q1, Q2, Q4, Q5, and Q6 also reach downtown Rockville.[4] Catholic University is a 15-minute Metro ride. There's a Safeway grocery store at the Metro stop, and we’re within walking distance of the largest shopping complex on the Metro, including Target, Costco, Giant Food, Macy’s, 80 nearby restaurants, and 16 bars.

Rent:

$1,200 per month, excluding utilities which are $50/month.

Features:

Computer-controlled appliances in the kitchenette allow you to impress your friends by producing Jasmine rice with homemade yogurt in a magical 5 minutes (pro tip: less time if you start with the hot water tap) and sous vide (without having accounts at nasadotgov and healthnutdotorg, but let's keep that nugget to ourselves), a 42" TV with a 7.0 surround sound setup, queen bed, refrigerator, microwave, toaster oven, Keurig coffee maker (sorry we know you have other preferences but wake us up when you can get Vertuo Capsules at aldis'), water filtration system, desk, and keyed locks for extra security (one for conditional house access and one for the private entrance). A dresser and closet with an iron and ironing board are also included. The new deep-padded carpeting keeps your feet dust-free and offers excellent soundproofing. Fiber optic internet, and you can even geek out with a wired connection.

All linens, including pillows, were thoroughly washed, and the mattress was fully aired out. (Yes, sherlock, before you ask, the tense really is correct and it really does imply you could, if approved, come see it right now this instant.)

At no additional cost (i. e., it is prepaid, and, sorry, but you wouldn't save any money by unsubscribing), the room's home theater systems get Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, HBO, Cinemax, ESPN+, Disney+, Starz, and several networks, each having thousands of live TV channels. Most of the content will play in surround sound. We have a video of the space that gets more into that.

House Details:

For access via the internal door to a spacious house, a tenant would need to pay $50/month extra and have a pleasant demeanor. This helps indicate how busy you are (e. g., is reserved vs. outgoing---if you're an introvert you'd probably feel uncomfortable even to be asked if you are one). That gets you a working fireplace, weight room, washer, dryer, and rec room; a more robust kitchen, fully equipped with sterilized dishes, a gas range, and even more cooking gadgets; a lower deck hangout space, grill, hammock, flower garden, guest room, movie room, and unlimited free raiding of closets of all “consumables” (=trash bags, laundry detergents, stain removers, common spices, TP, paper towels—basically, anything you need that you didn’t know you even used... until you ran out of it at 2 a. m.).