Heeeeey Roomie!!

Me: ok-ish housekeeper, cereal for dinner eater, empty nester (ish), professional curse word user. I need a roommate so that when I’m singing Fergalicious and it’s the part where she says “he’s my witness” I can point at them and they’ll scream “woo hoo!” because right now I’m singing both parts by myself and it’s stressful! 😩

You: preferably male bc I tend to get along best with males as I have a retired trucker’s personality, must work full time (need proof) and own a vehicle, need references and background check (bc I tend to be a weirdo magnet), must not be easily offended or super religious (I’m agnostic and absolutely will not let someone preach to me,) if you are ocd clean freak my home is not for you, bonus points if you are good on the grill and willing to use the Weber! !

Master bedroom in a duplex with full bathroom available. I cannot allow pets because I already have cats and dogs. Roommate will need to be ok with that. Total access to the entire home. Kitchen and laundry room. Driveway and street parking. Not a party house. I have a 15 year old son half time. It’s fine if you have a part time kid or two as long as they are at least school age. I’m not baby proofing and I have big dogs that will knock little kids down.