Perfect roommate in need of a room ASAP.

My name is Jonathan and if your considering me, I'm probably going to become one of your best friends. I work full-time sunday through thursday 11 pm to 7 am. I am 32 years old, divorced with 3 kids with my ex wife in stockton, so on weekends when i can afford it and theyre not busy I'll be heading to them. I work front desk/security jn the financial district of SF. I get paid biweekly, and i just got payed today, but with child support and taxes i get about 40% of my check, but i can make up for that with a good attitude, being helpful, as well as contributing to the welfare of our household whenever possible. I can make some bomb chili, pancakes, and hashbrowns, and ive been called an excellent pantry chef quite a few times by making box and canned food taste amazing. I am sarcastic but in a funny way not a hostile way. I love to make people laugh (and occasionally cringed when the bad joke is too good). My main goal right now is trying to promoted to director by this tine next year, which means spending money on nice clothes but im going to see about going to the thrift store next time im in stockton. If you made it this far i have high hopes :) I NEED to be out preferably by the 1st but if possible i can pay you for like 2 weeks now and uber my stuff over there this evening.
So yeah the sooner i can leave the better. I dont have much stuff anyway and honestly id pay for just a couch or a spot on the floor to crash as long as i could shower and store my things there too. I hate to say it but i really need help. But im looking for a hand up not a hand out. I was raised in foster care and group homes until i was almost 20 and had a job and could get out of there. I dont really have many 'friends' so you dont have to worry about that, and i work graveyard so you dont have to really worry about me keeping you up at night.
I need this and am willing to negotiate or anything to get a stable place to stay while i continue at my current job and try to save some money while i attemp to decide if its better to try to get a promotion with my current job (which keeps me far from my kids) or use the money i save for a while to move back to Stockton so i can be near my babies.
I hope i dodnt put youoff withmy current predicament. But I'm going to push to overcome it, and i really hope to hear from you soon. Thank you for listening and the consideration for this opportunity. You're a blessing, and i appreciate any help or advice you can give me, and I'll do whatevwr it takes (within reason) to repay you however i can, not just so you dont resent or evict me, but so you can see theres still good, hard working and trustworthy people out there, so the next person who is required to ask for help with their needs, that you wont just turn them down because one person is all it takes to ruin anything, so i try not to ruin things unnecessarily, however when someone goes too far too many times, I'll burn the bridge and make sure its never rebuilt (with the exception of my ex wife, of course, her shit i have to deal with the rest of my life in one way or another at times. Luckily I managed to have 3 amazing kids and was able to instill alot of my values into my sons especially, and they are all smart and respectful and will not only stand up for themselves and each other but will defend those who cannot defend themselves as well. My middle son has the values and morals of a knight. I want to be like him when i grow up, you know what i mean. My oldest looks nothing like me but he has my sarcasm and my attitude, and although he doesnt show it if he can help it, he is the mist caring and sensitive of all three of them, and he has never failed at being the stable level headed one and helping take care of his younger siblings if they needed it, especially after the things that happened with me and their mother. My daughter is by far the toughest and most fearless one, but she knows if she cries me and my 2 boys will do whatever we can to make her smile again. Shes really sweet when she wants to be but she's kinda mean. I love her bit sometimes she reminds me of the baby from that show Dinosaurs that used to be on Nickelodeon. You know, hit someone with something then say "I'm the baby, gotta love me."
Anyway now that im single ill have more time to work on a novel as well.
Sorry i wrote so much; thank you for taking the time to consider me, have a wonderful holiday season, even if its a "No" on being roommates.

Hopefully and Respectfully,
-Jonathan Meisner-Jones